Hi @patricia-lykins! NICE job on your profile – below is my feedback:

Great background image and profile image!

Nice headline as well! I’m not a fan of having the “*” asterisk symbol in there.

Summary:

I would like for there to be more information in your sales letter since it’s coming off a bit short. Take a look at Kent’s profile and try to implement elements of his profile (that we teach in the program) https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/

Call to action:

You need a better one.

If you’re ready for _______ then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Please tag me in your revision!

Hi @patricia-lykins – I would even consider starting your summary off asking 3 pain point questions. I’m not loving the numbered lists that you’re providing because you really want to lead them through your sales letter.

Please remove:

• Superior service speaks for itself. I’m looking forward to the opportunity to earn your referrals too!
• Call or text me at (517) 937-4219 to learn how I can help you by

^ avoid having a call to action in the middle of your sales letter – have it ONLY at the end in a short and sweet manner.

Here’s another example to look at – which feel free to use their format, as it’s what we teach in the program.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcustexada/

I do like the information you added, I just want to make sure it flows well.

Good work 🙂

Revise as needed and you can move forward!

Hi @patricia-lykins, thanks for sending that over!!

So, really the thing that needs to be fixed is the way you are formatting your profile.

There are just too many chunky paragraphs and it’s hard to read.

Especially when you have the symbol “>” before every sentence.

Let me do my best to reformat it for you so your message isn’t lost – please fill in the blanks where needed:

WHAT I DO IN A FEW WORDS OR LESS:

I help clients like YOU _______________________.

Essentially…

[Write 1-2 sentences on how you help clients / or write 1-2 sentences on what you do].

WHO I WORK WITH: ______,_______,_______.

When you work with me…

I help you efficiently and quickly helping you fulfill your real estate goals with results-driven experience.

HOW I HELP:

By providing financially astute advice on preparing your home for the market which is to your financial advantage: by suggesting improvements that will help your home sell faster; suggesting you avoid expensive improvements that might price you out of the neighborhood market, or that might otherwise be unnecessary or negotiated in the purchase contract. (Consultant)

(^ PAT FIX THIS SO ITS NOT A RUN ON SENTENCE)

WHAT CLIENTS HAVE SAID:

One client last year met with me about 6 weeks before having to move out of their rental – we charged forward with a sense of urgency and were able to close in time!

With several decades in the accounting industry, I am well able to pay attention to details so that nothing gets missed in the process of selling/buying a home.

If you are READY for action, then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Direct Connect with me using: plykins@toast.net or text 517-937-4219.