@shelley-shakes GREAT job getting your Hero Story draft complete!! What a relief, LOL!!

You need a TITLE, babe!! One that draws us in as much as your writing.  And consider a “bookend” – like in the movies.  I am X but it wasn’t always like this… travel back with me and see the Y and Z lessons I learned on my path to success, etc. Something alone those lines.

This sentence: As a Realtor, I like being the catalyst, bringing people and property together.

Is the FIRST TIME you’ve talked about your FEELINGS>  Go back and look earlier for more opportunities to do so.  You did mention heartbreak when you had to give up your dog. which must have been HORRIBLE, but this is the type of thing you need throughout.  Your example with your dad is very evocative – again, I’m so sorry 🙁 but you don’t talk about how that affected you at all  Or how you felt about money being tight and having to sell all your dad had built off, piece by piece.

There’s a HUGE gap here:

Once my daughter went away to college, I decided to get my Real Estate License. My mother got her license in 1970, my older brother got his in 1980, and I was late to the party, but got my license in 2014.

HERE

Owning a home in a good school district is the dream of many young couples.  As a Realtor, I like being the catalyst, bringing people and property together.  I can help folks through transitional times.

So… find 3 examples: your personal experiences with clients, important moments in your life,  big shifts that happened.  Maybe talk about the fact that you are newly single and excited to put more time into your real estate passion (just an idea)? New chapter, excited about the future, etc.

I WOULD take the time to at least LOOK at the accelerator to see if any questions prompt your thinking.  I’ve attached a Word doc of that accelerator that we will be using in the program soon, in case you prefer that format.

Great start and great job so far!!