Hi @james-petticrew! Nice job taking massive imperfect action on your profile! Below is my feedback:

Profile Photo: Do you have a photo of your body full facing the camera? This one your body is at any angle and a full front photo would be best! Zoom in more, also.

Background Photo: (the rectangular blue space behind your profile photo).

I want you to email our graphic designer and tell her a little about your field of business and she can create something for you to use!

Lindsey@coredm.com

Headline:

What you currently have is good but let’s make it great! How about:

Want Maximum PROFIT From Selling Your Home WITHOUT Stress?☆EXPERT Realtor Helping Clients In [LOCATION]☆☞ Message Me!

Summary:

Please make sure you watch Halle’s video called: “BENEFITS MARKETING and BENEFITS MARKETING II videos in the Transformational Business Strategy module (bottom middle module on your MAIN DASHBOARD – turquoise with a bullseye) video index is to the right of the video window, in alphabetical order.

There’s FAR TOO MANY “i” in your profile and you want to make it more about THEM and less emphasis on you.

Your first 2 sentences of your summary are the MOST important.

How about you ask 3 POWERFUL pain point questions your clients struggle with.

What are their pain points? “Tired of _____” “Want _______ but CANT?” “Are you ______?” THEN, after you list pain points, say HOW you can help them and WHAT exactly you do to help them achieve that.

Also, your paragraphs are a bit chunky and need better organization. (check out the examples I provided and look at the format which you can copy)

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-harris-aa0487119/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcustexada/

You want to provide information that is:

Telling your readers WHO you work with, HOW you help them and WHY they should work with you. It’s nice to educate them but not throughout the entire profile.

Call To Action:

You need one!

If you’re ready for _______ then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Please tag me in your revision!! 🙂

Hi @james-petticrew! Appreciate your patience during my absence!! Thank you for resubmitting… there are still a few things I’d like you to fix:

Profile Photo:

Great photo but it’s VERY blurry. Do you have the same photo but in better quality?? Look for the photo in high definition so when you zoom in, it doesn’t blur.

Background Image:

What you currently have is of a sunset but please email Lindsey and have her create something for you. Have you emailed her based on my first feedback?? If NOT, PLEASE email her and ask her to create a background related to your field of business.

Lindsey@coredm.com

The headline looks GREAT!!

Summary:

This is your first sentence:

“>>(SRES) CERTIFIED SENIOR REAL ESTATE SPECIALIST with extensive training on the needs of Seniors from down sizing, medical issues, loss of spouse, & Reverse mortgages.”

^ That is very hard to read and take in. The first 2 sentences of your summary are the MOST important. Please review my previous feedback. Also, focus on BUYING or SELLING – not both (for your summary).

Try something like this instead:

WHAT I DO IN A FEW WORDS:

I help seniors with their real estate needs as an EXPERT specialist.

Essentially…

With my EXTENSIVE training, I help YOU find the right home for your lifestyle.

Downsizing due to loss of spouse, medical expenses, or reverse mortgages? NO PROBLEM.

I know exactly how to help!

When you work with me:

[write 2-3 sentences on HOW you help YOUR clients]

—

It’s nice to educate your reader but NOT through out the entire profile.

Please look at this profile as an example of HOW I’d like your profile spaced out and formatted.

Also, please look at the way they lead you through their sales letter.

• write out “and” instead of putting the & symbol

That’s what I’d like yours to look like:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcustexada/

Call to action:

Instead of:

I will get your homestead sold while helping you find the house of your dreams.
>> For a no-obligation consultation, CONTACT me by phone or TEXT… 1+352-216-5852

Change to:

If you’re READY to find a home FIT for your lifestyle… message me HERE on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

For a no-obligation consultation, contact me by phone or text at 1-352-216-5852

—

Please make the necessary changes 🙂 good work! You are so close!

• This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by n d.

Hi @james-petticrew! The reason I keep recommending Lindsey to create a background image for you is that it’s very professional and personalized.

Having just an image of a pool doesn’t utilize that space to the best of it’s ability.

Go ahead and email Lindsey, tell her what your occupation is and what kind of image you’d like to be used (have her find her own image) and see what she creates. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to use it!

So, you content in your summary is good but the paragraphs are chunky.

Look at the example I provided in my previous feedback and notice the spaces made between sentences. You can COPY & PASTE what I have written into the summary slot so you don’t have to manually click ‘ENTER’ on your keyboard to add a new paragraph.

BUT, please press ‘enter’ in your summary sentences to break up some of the sentences.

I hope that makes sense.

Also, after your call to action, there is a LOT of white space. Try to ‘backspace’ on that white space so it doesn’t elongate your summary.

Overall, great work! You can move on after you make those changes.

Please do email Lindsey.