Hi @bruce-graham, first off, I’m SO proud of you for filming.

You look great and you sound great!

Unfortunately, your script does need to be revised. A lot of it is about YOU and what YOU do… but not enough on THEM and how you can help THEM.

Because this is a short video, you want to get them excited and on the phone with you ASAP.

SO…

Please fill out this infomercial script template out, and send it over to me to review. Once you’re done and I approve, I’ll give you the green light to re-record.

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How about you start off asking up to 3 POWERFUL pain point questions…

Are you WANTING _________?
Do you NEED __________?

Want __________?

(after you ask 3 questions)

If you answered ‘YES’ to those questions, you came to the right place!

Hi, I’m _______ and I am a ____________ helping clients with _________.

(2-5 sentences saying HOW exactly you plan to help / how you serve your clients)

(you can add 1-2 more sentences about why they should work with you or maybe a motivating 1 liner to get them excited)

If you want _______________ then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit.