5 years, 10 months ago-
Posts
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Looking for comments on my profile.
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Hi @richard-farb! A really nice job taking action on your profile accelerator. Below is my feedback:
Great profile photo!!
I’d like you to have a better + personalized background photo. I want you to email our graphic designer and tell her a little about your field of business and she can create something for you to use.
Headline:
I like what you currently have but it needed a little pop to it!
I restructured it below for you and you can add the emojis if end up using it:
Need to RELOCATE to Florida WITHOUT ____?☆EXPERT Realtor Helping Clients In Florida Area ☆☞ MSG Me!
Summary:
You’ve got some good information but you’re not really leading me through your sales letter. It’s very information heavy and less “here’s what I can do for you”.
Your first 2 sentences of your summary are the MOST important.
How about you ask 3 POWERFUL pain point questions your clients struggle with.
What are their pain points? “Tired of _____” “Want _______ but CANT?” “Are you ______?” THEN, after you list pain points, say HOW you can help them and WHAT exactly you do to help them achieve that.
Also, your paragraphs are a bit chunky and need better organization. (check out the examples I provided and look at the format which you can copy)
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-harris-aa0487119/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcustexada/You want to provide information that is:
Telling your readers WHO you work with, HOW you help them and WHY they should work with you.
Call To Action:
You need one!
If you’re ready for _______ then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!
Please tag me in your revision!
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I just got an email back from Lindsey this morning about my banner. I had emailed her on October 31st requesting some help.
Give me feedback on this draft of my new summary.
Thanks for all you do.
“Tired of the stress of moving” “Want ACTION and need HELP?” “Are you running OUT OF TIME?”
WHAT I DO IN 17 WORDS OR LESS!
“I deliver to YOU in-depth real estate services to get you and your family moved fast”.
Essentially…
I allow you to focus on YOU INSTEAD of searching and negotiating.
and
I eliminate the STRESS of moving to Florida.
WHO DO I WORK WITH? Individuals, Families, Investors, and Companies
I know what you are thinking…
Well Richard, if I don’t know the area or live out of state, will you still work for me?
How about this answer?
ABSOLUTELY! That’s the beauty of working with me. I KNOW the area and went through the stress of moving.
I take all the hard work of searching properties and make it easy for you!
Want an example?
One of my Clients works for the U.S. Government and lived in Atlanta, GA. He needed to relocate for his job here in Brevard County and time was running out. After connecting, he was financed and moved in 45 days with only 1 trip from Georgia.
Another Client accepted a new position as an engineer to work on one of the rockets at Kennedy Space Station and had to be moved in 60 days or less from Indiana. They found their dream house with a pool. They closed and moved in time to start his new job.
If you’re ready for a STRESS-FREE move, then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!
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Hi @richard-farb, can you please put this in your actual profile so I can provide full feedback?
I’d like to see your headline, background AND summary in action.
Your revised summary looks SO much better. There are some larger spaces within your summary, so make sure to fix that.
Everything looks fantastic!
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