Hi @kathleen-kelbly, this looks SO much better 🙂

The last two sentences could be better. The first sentence seems to be a typo and we can word it better. Your call to action is could also use a better pain point than “STOP THE PAIN” – we want to make it less extreme.

Change:

“COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR  Someone who is a Certified Real Estate NEGOTIATION EXPERT!  What could be better than that?

If you’re ready to STOP THE PAIN, message me here on LinkedIn TODAY to see if we’re a good fit!”

To something like:

No more worrying about whether or not you’re getting a good deal on your new home. When you’re my client, you can take a sigh of RELIEF knowing you have an EXPERT negotiator at your hands!

If you’re READY to finally find the home you’ll absolutely LOVE for the BEST deal… message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

(you can fix those sentences above but that is direction I was hoping you’d go in)

You are so close 🙂

Hi @kathleen-kelbly! Thank you and super job taking action!

Good question:

It’s okay if the video goes over 30 seconds, but please just keep it UNDER 3min. That’s when people drop off.

If you have questions about filming:

Please make sure you watch Halle’s video called: “VIDEO TIPS” in the Transformational Business Strategy module (bottom middle module on your MAIN DASHBOARD – turquoise with a bullseye) video index is to the right of the video window, in alphabetical order.