Hi @kathleen-kelbly! Nice job taking action on your infomercial – great start! I’m also a unicorn 😉

Few things:

I really don’t like “I’M YOUR SOLUTION” added after your pain point questions. It almost interrupts your message.

Are you helping them buy or sell a house? ( ONLY FOCUS ON ONE) You need to make that very clear in the beginning questions.

I know the unicorn bit is cute but unless that’s part of your logo or tagline, we can get it out. It just doesn’t really help someone when that’s mainly what you’re talking about in your infomercial. Focus on HOW you can help them and make it less about you.

How about this revision – please fill in the blanks:

Are you needing to sell your house but STILL WAITING for your agent to call you back?

TIRED of your property sitting on the market taking more and more of your money?

Do you want actual QUALIFIED buyers looking at your home??

If you answered YES to any of these questions… I know EXACTLY how to help!

Hi, my name is Kathleen Kelbly and I’m a REALTOR helping clients like you in the Austin area.

When YOU work with me, you are working with an ACTUAL NATIVE Austinite! Yep, you heard that right!

I know the market and can provide EXPERT _______________. What’s better? You get [Talk about HOW you help them through the search or buying process / 2-3 sentences]

If you’re READY for _____________ message me here on LinkedIn TODAY to see if we’re a good fit!