Hi @april-scales, great job revising! This looks so much better!

Few things:

Can you zoom in a bit more on your profile photo?? This will really help people see your smiling face.

IMPORTANT** please only focus on buyers OR sellers. NOT BOTH. Please fix that in your headline and only speak to one group of people!

Summary:

Please make sure you watch Halle’s video called: “BENEFITS MARKETING and BENEFITS MARKETING II videos in the Transformational Business Strategy module (bottom middle module on your MAIN DASHBOARD – turquoise with a bullseye) video index is to the right of the video window, in alphabetical order.

There is far too much emphasis on YOU and not enough on THEM.

Your first 2 sentences of your summary are the MOST important.

How about you ask 3 POWERFUL pain point questions your clients struggle with.

What are their pain points? “Tired of _____” “Want _______ but CANT?” “Are you ______?” THEN, after you list pain points, say HOW you can help them and WHAT exactly you do to help them achieve that.

Also, your paragraphs are a bit chunky and need better organization. (check out the examples I provided and look at the format which you can copy)

PLEASE COPY THE OUTLINE OF THE PROFILE BELOW:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-harris-aa0487119/

You want to provide information that is:

Telling your readers WHO you work with, HOW you help them and WHY they should work with you. It’s nice to educate them but not throughout the entire profile.

Call To Action:

You need one!

“If you’re ready for _______ then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Please tag me in your revision!! 🙂

Hi @april-scales! Hope you’re feeling better – glad to hear you’re back in action!

Your profile looks great 🙂