6 years ago-
Posts
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Here is my 30 second infomercial….only it’s more like a minute and 42 seconds.
So you’re in the market to buy a house.
Congratulations!
Few questions for you…
Would you like your home purchase experience to be as stress-free as possible, followed by a seamless transaction?
Do you want to save money, time and effort?
Do you want negotiations to work out in your favor?
And finally, are you looking for a realtor that’s experienced, professional, accountable, and one that knows the area and will be with you every step of the way?
If this sounds like you… I know exactly how to help.
Whether you are a first-time home buyer, or need to relocate. Perhaps you’re in the market for a bigger home? Or smaller home?
I have great news!!
Whatever your situation, I can help you.
I’m Grace. I’m a realtor with Remax Prestige in Florida, in the greater Palm Beach County area. I will help you eliminate the stress in the process, giving you the guidance needed. From applying for a mortgage, to negotiating, using creative solutions, addressing contingencies, getting insurance….
essentially,
everything that’s involved up to the closing.
I will help you save money, time and effort, by helping you hire the different professionals you will need in the home-buying process.
For example, appraisers, home inspectors, mortgage lenders, contractors, just to name a few. You will know what’s going to happen and what you can expect…beforehand.
With me as your realtor, I will fight for you and negotiate on your behalf to make sure you get the best possible price and outcome. I will be there whenever you need me. I know the business and I will help you.
Are you’re ready to start the home buying process?
Message me!
Let me know if it’s good or if I need to tweak it.
Thank you very much!
Grace
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Hi @grace-colon! This is an awesome start!!
I really love how you led them through your message. I think we can condense it a bit and get rid of a couple questions since there are quite a few.
How about you fill out this template and then tag me in the revision:
How about you start off asking up to 3 POWERFUL pain point questions…
Are you WANTING _________?
Do you NEED __________?Want __________?
(after you ask 3 questions)
If you answered ‘YES’ to those questions, you came to the right place!
Hi, I’m _______ and I am a ____________ helping clients with _________.
(2-5 sentences saying HOW exactly you plan to help / how you serve your clients)
(you can add 1-2 more sentences about why they should work with you or maybe a motivating 1 liner to get them excited)
If you want _______________ then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit.
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Here is my revised infomercial. Let me know what you think.
Are you wanting your home purchase to be as stress-free as possible, followed by a seamless transaction?
Do you need to save money, time and effort?
Want negotiations to work out in your favor?
If you answered ‘YES’ to those questions, you came to the right place!
I’m Grace. I’m a realtor with Remax Prestige helping clients with purchasing their home.
I will help you negotiate, use creative solutions, address contingencies and provide you with the different professionals you will be needing.
If you want a realtor that’s experienced, accountable and one that will fight for you to make sure you get the best possible price and outcome…
then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit.
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Hi, @grace-colon! So much better!
There are some run-on sentences that can be condensed. Let’s change up a few things:
Q1 can instead say:
“Are you wanting your home purchase to be as stress-free as possible?”
Q2 can instead say:
Do you WORRY about the ADDED TIME you’re going to be spending on just searching for the perfect home?
Q3 can instead say:
Are you READY to start having negotiations to work out in your favor?
or
Are you READY to find the best deal for your new home?
This sentence is boring:
“I will help you negotiate, use creative solutions, address contingencies and provide you with the different professionals you will be needing.”
How about something instead like:
When YOU work with me, you get top-notch service. My team and I help address any contingencies, use CREATIVE solutions AND have tons of resources for you at your fingertips!
Yep. You heard that right!
YOU and your needs are a priority when you work with me. I hold your hand through the ENTIRE process.
(you can, of course, tweak the above but look how much better that sounds)
Call To Action:
It’s a bit of a run-on sentence. I like it though, just shorten it down and get to the point.
GREAT WORK, please tag me in your revision 🙂 you are so close!
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