Dashboard › Forums › High End Client Program › LinkedIn – Profile Reviews & Questions › Would you mind taking one more look?
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July 30, 2018 at 3:43 pm #18098
Hey there, I’ve changed my profile — hopefully the last time. 🙂 My earlier version just felt kind of “light weight” and I wasn’t sure it would really resonate w/my intended audience.
Would you mind taking another look?
Thanks a bunch!
Kammy
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July 30, 2018 at 3:53 pm #18100
Oops, guess it helps if I add my LI link >> https://www.linkedin.com/in/kammythurman/
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July 30, 2018 at 6:37 pm #18114
Hi @kammy-thurman, few things:
Your headline is good but it could be better. I’d like you to consider using this:
Want Copywriting That Wins MORE Customers WITHOUT Wasting Money?☆Learn 4 HACKS to Increase Your Sales Funnel☆☞MSG Me!
Summary:
Your summary is also good but it’s not grabbing my attention. I don’t like how the second paragraph you’re listing off who your client is. But use that space to really get them to WANT to work with you. Don’t make it complex. Really make it simple for them to understand. Like this:
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What I Do In A Few Words:
“I help you get MORE customers with engaging, conversational copy delivered in a unique strategy for increased sales.”Essentially…
When you work with me… YOU get ________.
Yep. You read that right.
Your company will get ___ _______ ______.
With this proven strategy, you get ________.
Over the last 20 years, I’ve helped over 100 clients in a dozen industries successfully sell online and offline!
Here are a few results:
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Kammy, where the blanks are, fill those out with really good information on how you help them. Like, what strategic planning do you do for them, etc. Really make it something they can’t pass up, okay?
Everything else looks great 🙂
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July 30, 2018 at 8:32 pm #18140
Thanks, Negeen! 🙂
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July 31, 2018 at 11:34 am #18169
Hi Negeen,
Revised with your recommendations…
What I do in a few words:
“I help you get MORE customers with engaging, conversational copy delivered in a unique strategy for increased sales.”Essentially…
When you work with me, YOU get copywriting and sales strategies that are more successful at winning long-term, repeat customers or clients who love doing business with you.
Yep. You read that right.
Your company will win MORE customers with copywriting that touches them on a deeper emotional level. This allows you to build trust and excitement for your product/service, while staying true to your values.
No amount of hype or marketing gimmicks can accomplish this!
Then with this proven strategy your messages will be delivered in a systematic way that removes 90% of the workload from your shoulders, while feeling personal and genuine to your prospects.
They gain confidence in your business … you gain a better night’s sleep!
Over the last 20 years, I’ve helped over 100 clients in a dozen industries successfully sell online and offline. Here are a few results:
☛ A spot-on fundraising letter returned a 380% ROI. It’s still the control 10 years later with only a tweak here and there.
☛ A direct mail and online campaign pulled in 3,000 families to an outreach event (2x more than previous campaigns) at 1/10th the cost.
☛ A Facebook campaign averaged 75 leads and $3,000 in sales for each $97 ad spend for a Disney Resort vacation.
Customers feel most engaged (and buy more) when they believe they share values with a company. When you intentionally attract customers that share your values, you’ll have far more valuable customers.
And that’s why my clients make comments like this, “Hiring Kammy for your marketing projects is an investment that will pay you back many times over!” — Dr. Valerie Young, changingcourse.com
✎ DROP ME A MESSAGE to see if we’re a good fit to work together.
✓ And remember to request your 4 Fast Hacks to Boost Conversions in Your Sales Funnel.
- This reply was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by Kammy Thurman.
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July 31, 2018 at 1:21 pm #18197
Great work, @kammy-thurman, this flows SO much better! 🙂
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