Hi @barry-ward! So sorry about the wait, looks like I missed your post. Below is my feedback.

Great profile photo!! I want you to email that photo to our graphic designer, Lindsey, and have her add a white background for you to make it more professional.

In addition to that, email her about your field of business and have her create a BETTER background photo for you. The one you have right now is not good.

Headline:

Love where you’re going with this. I made it a bit more appealing to the eye. How do you like this:

Want To PROTECT Your Home + Business From The DESTRUCTION Of Lightning?☆Helping Clients Get A Peace Of Mind☆☞MSG Me!

Summary:

So, you provided loads of information, but this summary isn’t leading me to want to pick up the phone to call you. It’s just providing a massive paragraph of information.

Here’s what I want you to do.

Go to Kent’s profile and COPY his entire summary outline. Then, add in YOUR information in places applicable okay?? This will help you organize and re-format your summary.

Kent’s profile:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/

• with that being said, you could also start your profile asking 3 POWERFUL pain point questions your audience could relate to
• You want to provide information that is:

  Telling your readers WHO you work with, HOW you help them and WHY they should work with you. It’s nice to educate them but not throughout the entire profile.

  Call To Action:

  You need one!

  “If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

  Please tag me in your revision **