6 years, 3 months ago-
Posts
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@halle-eavelyn and @negeen-dargahi
Here my first go at the 30 second informercial.
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a true lifestyle business that funds your every dream?
Have you imagined turning your passions into profits?
Are you looking to escape the daily grind? Maybe do more traveling or seek new adventures?
If this sounds like you, I know exactly how to help you achieve your dreams.
You can rapidly close the gap from where you are now financially to where you want to be.
You can use our marketing and presentation system that will accelerate you to new heights in your business.
You can have access to wealth building courses, coaching and live seminars that will offer you real value and results.
Are you ready to build a true Global Lifestyle Instant Pay business?
If you are message me NOW!
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Hi @tom-emmerling! A really nice start on your infomercial!
For your first question, I’m confused by “true lifestyle business” –it seems like a mouthful and doesn’t make sense. It is also too closely related to Q2.
Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have a business you actually ENJOY waking up for?? (example)
Have you imagined turning your passion into PROFIT?
Or maybe you are looking to escape the daily grind…do more traveling or seek new adventures?
–Then, I want you to change your 2nd point to:
“With my help… You will have FULL ACCESS to our marketing and presentation system that will accelerate you to new heights in your business.”
“If that sounds good…IT GETS BETTE!”
“You EVEN have access to wealth building courses, coaching and live seminars that will offer you real value and results.”
“Yes. You heard that right!”
“If you’re ready to build a true _______ business…” (Tom, what you had was VERY confusing, please make the fill in the blank a non-run on sentence)
Message me here on LI or call me today at ______ to see if we’re a good fit!
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@tom-emmerling, also the passages I DIDNT add in the re-write above, please add. They were great so I didnt add them in my feedback.
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