3 replies, 3 voices Last updated by Brian Olsen 6 years, 3 months ago
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    • #12436

      Brian Olsen
      Participant
        @bolsenrealestate@gmail.com

        Hello! I have a couple different drafts, haven’t decided which one I will use yet or maybe combine the two? What are your thoughts? Thanks!

        Draft One:

        Are you wishing you could finally buy your dream home but are just too busy to handle the stress?

        Hi, I’m Brian Olsen and I’m an expert real estate agent with Coldwell Banker here in beautiful Northern UT. I’m a specialist in the buying and selling of Luxury Homes. I love my profession, because everyday I am helping people like you move into their own private oasis!

        If you are currently looking to buy or sell any land, home or property my team and I have all the time, talents and resources you are looking for! I focus on your wants and needs so you can continue focusing on your busy life while I get the job done.

        If you are ready to finally find your new home, then reach out to me today at ____! I’ll be your first call on the path to making your dreams come true!

        Draft two:

        Have you been trying to sell your home for what feels like a century but just not having any luck?

        As an expert real estate agent with Caldwell Banker who specializes in Luxury Homes, I have the skills you need.

        My team and I evaluate and monitor target properties and market worldwide. I have all the time, talents and resources you are looking for! I focus on your wants and needs so you can continue focusing on your busy life while I get the job done.

        If you are ready to finally rest easy that your property is sold, then reach out to me today at ____! I’ll be your first call on the path to fulfillment!

         

        Draft 3:

        Are you an investor looking to find the next property to add to your portfolio but don’t know where to begin?

        Hi, my name is Brian Olsen and I am an expert real estate agent with Coldwell Banker who specializes in High End property.

        My team and I evaluate and monitor target properties. We follow current market trends and assess property value to keep you current and up to date in today’s fast paced market.

        If you need assurance & confidence in your buying experience, then call me today at ____! I can help you reach your goals with a higher and more efficient approach.

         

        I would appreciate any and all comments and suggestions!

        Thanks,

        Brain

      • #12454

        n d
        Keymaster
          @negeen@coredm.com

          @brian-olsen I can see why you’re having trouble! All 3 are awesome!

          I really liked #2 and #3 was quite specific. #1 was personable and if you added information from #2 in there, to keep it short and sweet and about them… that one is a winner!

           

        • #12540

          Halle Eavelyn
          Moderator
            @halle@coredm.com

            @brian-olsen, a reminder that on LinkedIn, you will have a MUCH easier time if you talk ONLY to your Avatar – the more specific you are, the more the audience can hear you!  That means focusing on EITHER buyers or sellers, not both!  The internet attention span is just 3.8 seconds – if someone is buying, and you’re talking about selling, you cannot use the same language, right? So that means you’re only talking to half your audience at a time, very generally.  Be aware that this can mean they don’t really hear you – this is not for your whole business, but it IS on LinkedIn, so please make sure you are focusing on JUST your Client Avatar for the purposes of this program.

            @jennifer-martin, let’s discuss!

          • #12819

            Brian Olsen
            Participant
              @bolsenrealestate@gmail.com

              Thank you @halle-eavelyn and @negeen-dargahi for your help!

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