6 years, 1 month ago-
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@Hi @mark-gutentag, GREAT job taking action on your profile!
Your profile photo looks nice but you also need a background photo (the rectangular blue space behind your profile photo). I want you to email our graphic designer and tell her a little about your field of business and she can create something for you to use!
Lindsey@coredm.comGreat job keeping “I” out of your summary and focusing on them! I do not like all of the asterisks you’ve included before and after each paragraph. Take those out.
The first 2 sentences of your summary are the MOST important. How about you list 3 questions your clients struggle with. What are their pain points? “Tired of _____” “Want _______ but CANT?” “Are you ______?”
THEN, after you list pain points, say HOW you can help them and WHAT exactly you do to help them achieve that.
Then, 2 sentences how are you different than your competitors
And , who you like to work with.
Call to action:
****Message me ****call****or****email****
Again take out the asterisks.
Use this format instead:
If you’re wanting _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______to see if we’re a good fit!
(and include your contact info such as phone number and email address)
Overall Great first start!
TAG me in your revision!!
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@Thanks for tagging me @negeen-dargahi!
Hi @mark-gutentag! Awesome job getting those revisions done promptly!
I’m looking at your headline now and I want you to tweak it a bit. Use this:
Want To Cut Your Real Estate Income Taxes by up to 50% WITHOUT Stress?☆EXPERT Solar Advisor helping Clients In [LOCATION]☆☞ Message Me!
Your summary is confusing. I cannot quite tell what you do from reading it.
Let’s start with the first sentence.. Your 3 pain point questions need question marks at the end, not exclamation points. Also when starting the questions you should say “Are you tired…” and “Do you want to sell…” I like your last question, but take out the question before it where you say “Have you not completed a tax-deferred exchange because you couldn’t or simply didn’t want to?”
Next you say 30-50% in your headline (again I want you to change that to “up to 50%”) but in your summary you say 30-40%. Is it 40% or 50%? Either way, saying “up to __%!” sounds better. Also you don’t say anything about solar in your summary which makes it confusing to potential clients.
“Unlike any other passive loss investment you may have seen in the past, I have an investment that will reduce your taxes, earn an economic return and help the environment all with the risk minimized as much as possible.
All real estate owners/investors, passive investors, tax advisors with clients who have these investments, this investment can reduce the taxes on passive income by 30% to 40% or more!”
This needs to be re-phrased in an easier to read and understand way. The sentences are too long (run on sentences all over) and it’s too mysterious. You can, and should mention solar here since that is your business.
Lastly for your call to action, use this: If you want more information call me TODAY at 818-993-9561 or email me at mark@gutentagcpa.com, to see if we’re a good fit.
You see I took out the “please” and added “to see if we’re a good fit”. The “please” makes it sounds too much like you NEED their business. You should present yourself as the ALPHA, and alphas don’t beg.
Keep up the hard work Mark, you’re almost there!
TAG ME IN YOUR NEXT REVISION
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https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-s-gutentag-cpa-58bb3543/
@amanda-hendrickson
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@@mark-gutentag That looks SO much Better!! Great job! Have you emailed Lindsey yet about creating a background photo for you?
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