Moved: Reply To: Alison Liddic – LinkedIn Profile Review (EXAMPLE – PROFILE REVIEW REQUEST)

[Marc Dupuis]

@negeen-dargahi  @jennifer-martin

just completed my profile would love to hear some feedback, thanks

 

http://www.linkedin.com/in/marc-dupuis

 

 

[n d]

Hi @marc-dupuis, please make a NEW post next time – I made this a new post but for future reference, if you ask for feedback in a forum that already has replies, we may not get to it.

A really great job taking action on your profile!! Few things:

Background Photo:

What you have is okay but let’s make it great. I want you to email our graphic designer and tell her a little about your field of business. She will make a great one for you.

Lindsey@coredm.com

Headline:

Good start! I don’t like that you have an emoji instead of the actual word. Let’s avoid that. How about you fill out this template:

Want _______ WITHOUT _______? ☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients _____☆☞MSG Me!

Summary:

Awesome job!!

Again, take out that headline sentence with the emojis and write it out instead.

OKAY – so I really want you to focus on one aspect of your business for your summary so it’s not a lot of “or” “or”.

We find that for your summary if you focus on one of your customer avatars, that will be beneficial in getting the right clients.

Then, when you’re qualifying them on the phone, you can see if your expertise in other things can help them.

Regardless, you’re a rockstar! Hope this helps 🙂

[Jennifer Martin]

@marc-dupuis  I agree with everything @negeen-dargahi shared with you. Great first draft!

I noticed a typo you may want to clean up

I eliminate YOUR STRESS of where your to place your hard earned dollars.

I’d love to see this line (see below) rewritten so you can deliver the benefit to their biggest problem (making money gobs of money with little or no effort)

Essentially…

I allow you to focus on Living Your Life INSTEAD of dealing with the headache of finding, buying and managing properties.

 

Otherwise I think you are on the right track (after making the changes that Negeen suggested.

 

Way to take MASSIVE ACTION!

[Marc Dupuis]

@negeen-dargahi

wasn’t really sure what to put in the blank you put at the end, which kind of works out cause the way it is here has no spaces left!!

Want income producing properties WITHOUT dealing with Tenants, Trash or Toilets? ☆EXPERT Syndicator helps you ☆☞MSG Me!

@jennifer-martin

I fixed the type and reworked that sentence that you didn’t like, tell me what you think,

 

thank you both for the feedback, I’m committed to making this work quite literally my life depends on it…..

[n d]

Hi, @marc-dupuis!

Did you email Lindsey about your background photo?

Headline:

Great headline – I revamped it a little to fix the “helps you” part.

Want PROFIT Producing Properties WITHOUT Dealing With Tenants, Trash or Toilets? ☆EXPERT Syndicator☆☞MSG Me!

Your summary looks SUPER!

I allow YOU to share in the benefits being an OWNER of a great income producing projects gives you, 

Should be:

“I allow YOU to enjoy being an owner with an increase in CASH FLOW from your projects.”

Great job!!

[Marc Dupuis]

thanks

I’ve made those changes now, thanks

[Marc Dupuis]

thanks

I’ve made those changes now, thanks and yes I send an email to Lindsey for my background photo just waiting for her to reply to me.

[n d]

A really great job, @marc-dupuis! Very alpha and on it!!

You’re good to move on!!

[Author]

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