Infomercial Script for Review

[Tim O’Riley]

Hey Negeen, how are you? I have revised the script for my infomercial. Let me know what you think, please.

 

Hi, I’m Tim O’Riley with West USA Realty and I’d like to ask you a couple of questions.

When you first bought your home, what were your primary concerns? If you’re like most people, you were probably looking for something that not only fit the needs of your family but that would prove to be a worthy investment for you also.

So now that you’re considering selling your home, what are your primary concerns? Well, for you and most others, the answer is likely twofold: you want to sell fast and you want to “cash in” on your investment as well. Well, if that’s where you are, then I have great news for you! You’re in the right place at the right time and you’re with the right person!

I’m in the business of helping people make sound decisions when it comes to buying and/or selling a home. Nothing is more important to me during any transaction than the happiness of my clients! So if you’re looking for an agent that’s just going to stick a sign in your front yard and call it a day, I’m probably not your guy. But if you’re serious about getting your house sold quickly, at the best possible price and with as little inconvenience to you and your family as possible, let’s get together and make it happen!

 

Thanks Negeen!

[Anonymous]

Hi,  @tim-oriley! @negeen-dargahi tagging you in this 🙂

[Tim O’Riley]

Thanks @amanda-hendrickson!

[n d]

Hi @tim-oriley! Hope you’re doing fantastic! Nice job taking action on your infomercial – below is my feedback:

You’ve got some good content in this but I really want you to shorten it up and really make it short and sweet.

Follow this template and tag me – this should help better organize your points:

How about you start off asking up to 3 POWERFUL pain point questions…

Are you WANTING _________?
Do you NEED __________?

Want __________?

(after you ask 3 questions)

If you answered ‘YES’ to those questions, you came to the right place!

Hi, I’m _______ and I am a ____________ helping clients with _________.

(2-5 sentences saying HOW exactly you plan to help / how you serve your clients)

(you can add 1-2 more sentences about why they should work with you or maybe a motivating 1 liner to get them excited)

If you want _______________ then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit.

[Tim O’Riley]

Hey @negeen-dargahi, sorry it’s taken so long to get back to you with this but I’ve been fighting a bad back since a couple of days after I got back from Cincinnati so I’ve been a real mess! Anyhow, I hope this is better! If not just tell me how to fix it and I’ll try it again!

 

Are you wanting to sell your home faster and for more money than you ever thought possible?

Do you NOT want 50,000 people traipsing through your home, continuously disrupting your family’s lives?

Do you want a Realtor who doesn’t just represent your best interests but who will fight for your best interests as well?

Well, if you answered “yes” to any or all of these questions, then you’re in the right place!

Hi, I’m Tim O’Riley and I’m a Realtor who helps clients with these and many other challenges EVERY DAY!

I’ll come to your home on your schedule, not mine, and together we’ll discuss a comprehensive plan for getting your house sold quickly with extra added attention given to making sure that you’re getting the most money possible at the same time. Look, if you’re just looking for an agent who’s going to stick their sign in your front yard and then call it a day, I’m probably not your guy but, if you’re serious about getting your home sold quickly and at the best possible price with as little inconvenience to you and your family as possible, then you owe it to yourself (and to them) to reach out to me.

For more information or to schedule an appointment, message me right here on LinkedIn and let’s see if we’re a good fit to work together!

 

[n d]

Wow, @tim-oriley! This seriously is such a great infomercial script – the reason is that you really know EXACTLY who you’re talking to… and I can feel that!

Few tiny changes I’d like you to make:

Instead of saying “Do you NOT want” in your second sentence, how about:

“Are you TIRED of having 50,000 people traipsing through your home, continuously disrupting your family’s lives?”

Take out “well” from the “answer yes to these questions” sentence.

The rest of your infomercial has awesome points but a few run on sentences.

Below I’ve redone the paragraph:

I’ll come to your home on YOUR schedule, not mine!

When we work together… we’ll discuss a comprehensive plan for getting your house sold QUICKLY with extra attention given to making sure that you’re getting top profit!

Look, if you’re just looking for an agent who’s going to stick their sign in your front yard and then call it a day, I’m probably not your guy.

BUT, if you’re wanting  QUALIFIED buyers viewing your home…with as little inconvenience to you and your family as possible, then you owe it to yourself (and to them) to reach out to me.

(everything else looks great)

EXCELLENT work!

[Tim O’Riley]

Thanks for your input, @negeen-dargahi! So here is my final version:

 

Are you wanting to sell your home faster and for more money than you ever thought possible?

Are you TIRED of 50,000 people traipsing through your home, continuously disrupting your family’s lives?

Do you want a Realtor who doesn’t just represent your best interests but who will fight for your best interests as well?

If you answered “yes” to any or all of these questions, then you’re in the right place!

Hi, I’m Tim O’Riley and I’m a Realtor who helps clients with these and many other challenges EVERY DAY!

I’ll come to your home on your schedule, not mine!

When we work together…we’ll discuss a comprehensive plan for getting your house sold QUICKLY with extra attention given to making sure that you’re getting top profit!

Look, if you’re just looking for an agent who’s going to stick their sign in your front yard and then call it a day, I’m probably not your guy!

But, if you’re wanting QUALIFIED buyers viewing your home…with as little inconvenience to you and your family as possible, then you owe it to yourself (and to them) to reach out to me.

For more information or to schedule an appointment, message me right here on LinkedIn and let’s see if we’re a good fit to work together!

[n d]

Love it, @tim-oriley 🙂

 

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