Hero Story Frances Schlosstein First "Real" Draft

[Frances Schlosstein]

@halle-eavelyn @negeen-dargahi @kent-littlejohn

Attached please find my Hero Story. With Halle away, not sure who to tag.  Very much looking forward to your comments and to moving on.  Yay!

Frances

 

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[n d]

Hi @frances-schlosstein, is this a 2nd draft based off of @halle-eavelyn feedback?

I wanted to ask because, after the first set of feedback from Halle, she does not typically provide feedback on the 2nd revision.

Thanks so much and great job taking action!

[Frances Schlosstein]

@negeen-dargahi @halle-eavelyn

Thank you for your response.  From the note below, Halle requested that I tag her on the first full draft.  Not sure with her travels whether she will be able to get to it but appreciate whatever feedback is available to me.  Just let me know. Thank you so much.

Frances

Hi< Frances –

This ISN’T your Hero Story. It’s not too long, but it IS a series of answers, and now your next step is to craft this material into your Hero Story. There’s training on how to do this in the next lesson – AND you can review many many other Hero Stories in this very forum to see the ones we suggest as examples. You may also want to read my case study on Glo Reber, which is in this forum as well.

Please tag me on the full first draft, ok? On the plus side, it’s not too long!! Just remember… STORY beats fact every time. It’s not an autobiography, it’s select moments of your life placed strategically. Make sense???

cc. @negeen-dargahi; @amanda-hendrickson

Post Link: http://app.hecp.com/forums/topic/hero-story-feedback-please/#post-21100

 

[n d]

Hi, @frances-schlosstein! Perfect, thank you for sending that over – now I’m on the same page!

Okay, yes @halle-eavelyn can you please provide feedback on Frances’ first real draft? 🙂

[Halle Eavelyn]

@frances-schlosstein, I can see how much work you put into this, and I’m proud of you for that.  However, you lost me at the top and never got me back – you’re not writing a term paper on your company and its growth, you’re writing about YOUR OWN PERSONAL JOURNEY through this crazy thing we call life, which caused you to get where you are now!!

I get that your clients are attorneys, I get that they are all important, mighty folk, but connecting with them is THE SAME as connecting with anyone else.  When we are “starstruck” or we take the attitude that we are not as important as someone else, or that we can only communicate with them in a lofty and corporate-speak way, we fail to make a personal connection.  Without which, this concept of the Hero Story has no place.

I think you CAN publish this as an ARTICLE on LinkedIn.  It’s just NOT your Hero Story.

I’m going to suggest you start over – tell YOUR story.  Don’t advertise your company, don’t talk about it AT ALL here except in regards to how it fulfills YOU and YOUR NEEDS in business.  How much you love it. What a difference it makes in the world for you when you know the ducks will have funds to remove the oil (eg).

Does this make sense?

So this might become your headline:

We’re SAVING clients millions of dollars, generating BOTTOM LINE RESULTS that Deal makers and CFOs can rely on for CLOSING DEALS and SETTLING COMPLEX ENVIRONMENTAL MATTERS

But like this:

How Going To Business School in Costa Rica Helped Me Save Clients Millions of Dollars and Resolve Complex Environmental Battles, While Living My Dream

That’s not necessarily perfect, but really, there’s so little about YOU in there it’s hard to find what would be best. That part is up to you.

I want you to read through the other Hero Stories posted in this forum, all in the Hero Story section, and ESPECIALLY the case study I did for Glo Reber, which is a paragraph by paragraph review, edit, and explanation.

THEN watch the Hero Story video – All my videos are in the Transformational Business Strategy module (bottom middle module on your MAIN DASHBOARD – turquoise with a bulls eye) video index is to the right of the video window, in alphabetical order.

THEN come back to this assignment with new eyes. Your Hero Story can be one page or 15; but it needs to be about YOU, your FEELINGS, your JOURNEY.

You’ve got this!!!

 

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