Feedback on my HERO Story, Pls & Thx!

[Teresa Davila]

Woo-hoo, SO close!  @halle-eavelyn, here is a link to my story (AND IT IS ATT”D BELOW).  I tried emailed it to you @ CoreDM as well (but not sure if that worked).

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1sQ0SL_deOnT1p117EcynORnGXd9a8NFK

Many thanks to @laura-barker for your help and –  @craig-pendelton, feel free  to take a look!

Thank you – IT TAKES A (HECP) VILLAGE!

teresa

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[n d]

Tagging you in this @halle-eavelyn 🙂

 

[Teresa Davila]

thanks, @negeen-dargahi!

[Laura Barker]

@teresa-davila

it sure does take a HEC village! I would never have gotten through my Hero Story without you and @craig-pendelton

Thanks so much!

[Teresa Davila]

My pleasure, @laura-barker – we are all BETTER together!

[n d]

@halle-eavelyn, re-tagging you in this! Not sure if you saw! Thank you!

[Craig Pendleton]

You ladies are AWESOME!! I really appreciate your help and support.  I need to get to my hero story and I’ll look forward to your help on that also.  Thanks for everything.

[Laura Barker]

@craig-pendelton I think I can speak for @teresa-davila when I say we both look forward to reviewing your Hero Story! I know it will be phenomenal!

[Halle Eavelyn]

Hey, @teresa-davila –

Great job FINALLY completing your first draft – YAY!!!!

While I have not finished your Hero Story, I had time to take a look and here’s my initial feedback:

It struck me that people are going to have a hard time relating to it because you are SO GUNG HO in your positivity.  It felt really over the top.  Like: Dad beat me but it was so enlightening and empowering??? Maybe now, 40 years on, but NOT when you were a little kid, right?? 2 things. 1) You need some place to GO.  Like it was AWFUL and now it’s BETTER.  Emotionally, we need to know the bad so we can know the good.  If you see the bad as good in RETROSPECT, make sure your reader can see that journey, not just where you are with it now.  2) Your audience DOES need to relate to you.  I get that you are a (wonderfully) enthusiastic and positive person, but they will want to smack you if they only get RAH-RAH for 26 pages.  They won’t read all of it.  I don’t want you to wallow, but I do want you to be realistic and nuanced throughout, for your own sake so that they can feel the roller coaster of the before to the after.

Please go back through and review – look for the bad places and MAKE THEM BAD (it’s ok!!) That will help make the good places seem better.

Then repost and tag me!!!

I LOVE your title and I think this is going to be a terrific Hero Story!!!

[Teresa Davila]

TY Halle – Oh cr*p!  My life really hasn’t had that much cr*p.

I’ve had it real, real easy.

It’s a great problem to have, but not that much of a problem!

That’s my whole dang challenge with this hero story thang….when I look back, it’s pretty rosy.

Thank you for your objectivity.   I’ll slice / dice / make cr*p up (maybe).

t

[Halle Eavelyn]

Don’t misunderstand me, honey. I don’t want you to create crap where there is none – I just don’t want you painting the crap with the same brush you paint the rosy stuff.  If the only place there’s bad stuff is your dad beating you, it STILL sounded pretty rosy, but it WASN’T!!!! I’m not saying have more pain – I’m saying make sure they know the pain WAS pain, and that it hurt.  Make more sense now, @teresa-davila??

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