Hi Guinivere,

Remember, opinions are like armpits, everyone has at least 2 of em.

I like your profile a lot! The headline, about and really all the way through it.

If there was anything to consider, I would say these 2:

I don’t love the background photo. Would love to see a mountain scene (goes with your mountain girl theme). The house is nice, just kinda plain, and doesn’t sing to me, as your words do.

Also, even if you do Commercial RE and are successful at it, as I do as well, I’d leave it out of the profile. Those who know you know it, and including it waters down your message. It’s too broad and when I read “broad” in anyone’s self-description, I always think, “are they really The Best at any of them”?

Here’s a way exaggerated but true example: There’s a Realtor on LinkedIn who claims to be an EXPERT in Residential and Commercial, Buyers, Sellers & Investors in California (not just like all of LA or SF, which I wouldn’t buy either but all of CA) AND Florida. I shook my head, laughed, and knew he was no Expert at anything. I would never, ever call that person, to even recommend a good sandwich shop.

Also, one of the best and most successful Realtors I’ve ever known was the Expert Seller’s Broker for just 2 neighborhoods in an upscale area near me. All of her marketing was focused on Sellers in those 2 neighborhoods. Of course, she also represented many or most of the buyers there as well, but never marketed to them. She eventually retired and sold her book of business for several million dollars.

I keep both of those examples in my head at all times, which is often really difficult for my little head. I always want to scream to everyone, everything I can do, so I’ve gotta pull on the reins often.

Yours is one of the better profiles I’ve read in here. Nice job!

Hi @guinivere-stevenson! I love the feedback @steve-rath gave and i’ll add in my own as well!

Beautiful profile photo!

Your banner image is OK. I don’t love it. If you had an image of a home style similar to the ones on the market in your region, that would be amazing. The text is really small too and it’s hard to read.

Please email Lindsey and have her create something better for you 🙂

Lindsey@coredm.com

Headline:

Instead of saying “CALL ME” you want them to message you on LinkedIn. So instead say “MSG ME!” or “Message Me!”

About section:

A lot of this is a little too much “I” and needs to be more “you” focused.

Rather than having the pain point questions through out with answers given, try to just ask 3 short and sweet powerful questions in the beginning and THEN lead them into what you do, who you work with, and why they should work with you.

—

Want _____ but don’t know where to begin?

NEED qualified buyers looking at your home?

Do you ____________?

Essentially…

I help clients like YOU ____________.

When you work with me, you can feel _____________.

What’s better?

__________.

ETC ETC.

—

See how the focus is mainly on THEM?

If you want, I would even recommend copying Kent’s outline or Eloise’s and using that as a format to guide your sales letter because you have the content it just needs to be better worded.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/elois-fuller-9b033723/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/

You need a stronger call to action rather than saying “call me! ________”

If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Please tag me after you make the necessary revisions!