4 years, 5 months ago-
Posts
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@negeen-dargahi, @halle-eavelyn, @kent-littlejohn
Here is my new Headline and Profile. I have not changed them yet pending your suggestions.
Headline:
Do you have OILFIELD AIDS (Acquired Income Deficiency Syndrome) NEED 2 MAKE MORE MONEY? Are you driven to succeed? NEED or WANT MORE? MESSAGE ME!!
Raw Content:
What I do in 15 words or less:
I help you change from employee to a successful, self employed, work from home entrepreneur.
Would you like to have more control over your time and money??
Do you want a bigger, nicer car?
Want a new and bigger house, maybe with a pool and party deck?
How about a game room with as pool table?
Do you want more and better for you and your family?
Are you living a life of “quiet desperation?”
My team and I have successfully helped hundreds or people just like you to achieve bigger incomes, better lifestyles, and live their dreams of a lifetime. We can help you too.
Call me, message me, send up a smoke signal, whatever works for you, JUST DO IT, I’m here for you. Let’s put you on the road to independence. LET’S GO!!
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Hey @james-blakemore – thanks for your patience in my feedback!
Your headline exceeds the character limit of 120. Here is a template you can fill in that should help:
Want _______ WITHOUT _______? ☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients _____☆☞MSG Me!
or here is your headline shortened but it could be revised:
Do you have OILFIELD AIDS and Need To Make MORE Money? Are you driven to succeed? I Help You _______ MESSAGE ME!
Before I provide feedback, is this for your actual LinkedIn About Me section or your infomercial??
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Negeen,
The phrase “Acquired Income Deficiency Syndrome” is important.
Yes, this is my LinkedIn “About Me.”
How about this headline”
Have AIDS (Acquired INCOME Deficiency $yndrome)? NEED 2 MAKE $$? Driven to succeed? NEED or WANT MORE? MSG ME!!
Just so you know, I want to reach that individual that has a family with kids to support, who is tired of the up and down of the oil & gas business, who is losing or has lost some or all of their regular income because of the drop in the price of oil or because of the COVID-19 recession. I’m looking for a highly motivated person who wants more control over their income and their future, and wants to provide a better life and lifestyle for their family. The want a nicer house, a better car, they want to do what they want, where they want and with whom they want without having to punch a clock, or be accountable to a boss. I want someone who is independent minded, a self starter, driven to succeed and sets the highest standards for themselves. I want them to know that they can succeed, don’t have to have a “job” and that there are businesses and systems that they can avail themselves of to achieve the success they want and that they truly can live the life of their dreams. I want them to feel the relief of knowing that they can and will be able to live their own life as they choose, and I want them to feel the sense of accomplishment that comes with helping their friends, family and neighbors do the same.
I am building a Network Marketing business and want to recruit distributors.
James
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@halle-eavelyn – would you mind taking a look at this??
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@james-blakemore thank you!!
Here are my notes. Just click and click PLAY
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Tagging you in this @halle-eavelyn!
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@james-blakemore So sorry!! Here you go:
https://www.loom.com/share/d43fb3f0cf7c4e3c9625b614c53deeeb -
@negeen-dargahi, @halle-eavelyn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jblakemore/
<u>OLD VERSION:</u>
Headline:
Do you have OILFIELD AIDS (Acquired Income Deficiency Syndrome) NEED 2 MAKE MORE MONEY? Are you driven to succeed? NEED or WANT MORE? MESSAGE ME!!
Raw Content:
What I do in 15 words or less:
I help you change from employee to a successful, self employed, work from home entrepreneur.
Would you like to have more control over your time and money??
Do you want a bigger, nicer car?
Want a new and bigger house, maybe with a pool and party deck?
How about a game room with as pool table?
Do you want more and better for you and your family?
Are you living a life of “quiet desperation?”
My team and I have successfully helped hundreds or people just like you to achieve bigger incomes, better lifestyles, and live their dreams of a lifetime. We can help you too.
Call me, message me, send up a smoke signal, whatever works for you, JUST DO IT, I’m here for you. Let’s put you on the road to independence. GO!!
<u>NEW VERSION AH: (After Hallie)</u>
<u>Headline:</u>
NEED More $$$ & Family Time WITHOUT 2nd Job or More Hours @ Work? ☆EXPERT Coach-Guide to Help YOU Do Better ☆☞MSG Me!
<u>OR:</u>
Want MORE INCOME & FAMILY TIME Without Stressing About Your Job and Boss? ☆ I Help You Gain Freedom☆ ☞ Message Me!
<u>Raw Content:</u>
What I do in 15 words or less:
I help you easily move from employee to successful, self-employed, work-from-home entrepreneur.
Are your kids growing up, while you are spending all your time at work just to pay bills?
Do you have “too much month” at the end of the money?
Do the “ends” never quite seem to meet?
Are you living a life of “quiet desperation?”
Do you want more control over your time and money??
Do you want a new, nicer, better car?
Want a new and bigger house, with a big back yard and maybe a pool?
How about a beautiful, new thoroughly modern kitchen & family room?
Do you want more and better for you and your family?
We are here to help you to achieve a bigger income, a better lifestyle, and live your dream of a lifetime.
Call me or message me and let’s see if you are a good fit for my program. Let’s put you on the road to independence, success and happiness.
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