Hi @jen-davis, Nice job taking action on your profile! Below is my feedback:

Photos:

Yours look great!

Headline (words under your name):

This is the best piece of ‘real estate’ on your LinkedIn profile. Let’s really make it POP.

How about filling out something like this…

Want ______ WITHOUT ______?☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients In [LOCATION]☆☞ Message Me!

Summary:

Please make sure you watch Halle’s video called: “BENEFITS MARKETING and BENEFITS MARKETING II” videos in the Transformational Business Strategy module (bottom middle module on your MAIN DASHBOARD – turquoise with a bullseye) video index is to the right of the video window, in alphabetical order.

There’s far too much emphasis in here on YOU and not enough on THEM – these videos will help you see why it’s important to make it so much more about them!

Your first 2 sentences of your summary are the MOST important.

How about you ask 3 POWERFUL pain point questions your clients struggle with.

What are their pain points? “Tired of _____” “Want _______ but CANT?” “Are you ______?”

THEN, after you list pain points, say HOW you can help them and WHAT exactly you do to help them achieve that.

Also, your paragraphs are a bit chunky and need better organization. (check out the examples I provided and look at the format which you can copy)

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-harris-aa0487119/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcustexada/

You want to provide information that is:

Telling your readers WHO you work with, HOW you help them and WHY they should work with you.

Call To Action:

Remember you want to position yourself as the ALPHA who doesn’t just work with anyone. Use this as your call to action:

If you’re ready for _______ then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Please tag me in your revision!

@jen-davis Nice job with those revisions! There are still a few things to fix, I’ll post them below:

Let’s space your pain point questions out a bit. It’ll make it much easier to read. I also changed your first pain point because your second was saying the same thing.

From this: “Tired of poor communication, want more effective marketing, but can’t get your agent to respond? Are you ready to hire a professional, who will keep you informed and reduce your stress?
Then message me. I deliver results.”

To this:

Tired of Real Estate agents overpromising and under delivering?

Want more effective marketing and better communication but can’t get your agent to respond?

Are you ready to hire a professional, who will keep you informed and reduce your stress?

Take this out: “Then message me. I deliver results.”

Then I want you to include a

WHAT I DO IN ___ WORDS OR LESS!

Like in the profile examples I sent you.

And then,

WHO DO I WORK WITH? Individuals, Families, Investors, ____ , ______

Next,

WANT AN EXAMPLE?

I love your example! Put it here!

This next paragraph is a little chunky:

“My method of representing you is a little different from most agents. I operated my own brokerage firm up until joining forces with BHHS GA Properties in 2014. Being an entrepreneur, I learned what my clients wanted early on and built each marketing plan based on that client’s needs. You and your property are NOT like any other person’s, so why should it be done the same way as everyone else’s?”

Let’s space it out like this so it’s easier to read:

My method of representing you is a little different from most agents.

I learn what my clients want early on and built each marketing plan based on that client’s needs.

You and your property are NOT like anyone else’s. You deserve a customized plan that fits YOUR needs!

This means less stress for you and better results!

After that I want you to remove this paragraph because it’s redundant:

“I never treat my clients as anything other than unique. And that creates an atmosphere of trust and a plan that you are completely in support of!”

Keep this:

Your home is one of your biggest assets and requires a partnership with a Realtor you can trust.

I can reduce your stress and manage the transaction from beginning to close while keeping you informed each step of the way.

Lastly is your call to action:

Please use this one, It positions you as the benevolent alpha, and you WANT that.

If you’re ready for _______ then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

TAG ME IN YOUR REVISION

@jen-davis That looks 10x better!!

You can change your headline a little bit so it’s more eye-catching.

From this: Want a better experience minus the stress? Message me if you want an expert to get your house sold fast, for top dollar

To this:

Want to Sell Your Home WITHOUT Stress? MESSAGE ME now for an EXPERT plan to get your home SOLD for Top Dollar!

@jen-davis You’re so welcome! 🙂