6 years, 3 months ago-
Posts
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Great job taking Massive Imperfect Action, @kimberly-hubenette?
Want to instantly look 10 years younger with new teeth in 8 wks or less?- unless you REPLACE their teeth, I’d take out “with new teeth”
Otherwise, headline is great!
Cut THIS from your summary: Want to have a million dollar smile without looking like you’ve had cosmetic surgery?Expert in Cosmetic Anti-Aging Dentistry☞MSG me!
It’s a repeat of your headline. We don’t want you to lose that valuable real estate by repeating info.
I LOVE your opening, BUT I think your Q3 is long and a little awkward – and I don’t like the positioning of “just may be what you need” because it’s too vague. Try this:
Do you hate to smile because of yellow teeth? Are you AFRAID of Pain? Do you put your child’s/ spouse’s needs before your own? If you live an active, healthy lifestyle, your teeth should match your youthful activities. My unique approach to getting the job done will put YOU and your mouth FIRST!
I also think this sentence is going to have an opposite effect from what you desire: “Once, I even went out to a patient’s car to help her get through my front door.” It makes it sound like what you do is terrifying or immobilizing. I’d just lose it.
Please watch my Benefits Marketing video (in the Transformational Business Strategy module on your dashboard) – you ARE telling clients what’s in it for them, but you say “I” a BUNCH. Rewrite this to talk about you in regards to them. Like this:
BEFORE: I’ve helped thousands regain their confidence.
NOW: Thousands have regained their confidence by working with me.
Make these changes throughout, ok?
GREAT JOB!!!
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Halle, What about these edits??
Expert in Creating Extraordinary Smiles☞MSG me! Do you hate to smile because of yellow teeth? Are you AFRAID of Pain? Do you put your child’s/ spouse’s needs before your own? If you live an active, healthy lifestyle, your teeth should match your youthful activities. My unique approach to getting the job done will put YOU and your mouth FIRST!
WHO I Work With: My clients allow me to utilize my expertise in anti-aging advanced dental concepts. Thousands have regained their confidence by working with me. My unique approach to proactive, whole body health & airway has gained my reputation as the GO TO DENTIST in Sonoma. Saliva DNA tests to BIOHACK genetics & have helped me solve health issues that have stumped other colleagues.
My office environment is so unique, that I attract patients from near, far & out of the country.
I will coach you to transform your mouth by changing your attitude from reactive to PROACTIVE.
Challenge me with a complex case & create a masterpiece.ELIMINATE the FEAR factor with my anti-anxiety Nitrous & Conscious Sedation services.
A recent patient said she met the man of her dreams after I fixed her smile. She said
“I would still be a lonely hermit had I not met you”.Another ended up landing an acting contract, his lifelong dream to be discovered.
Clients are Life-Long Friends due to my core values. Products/services have to pass my belief test; Would I use it on my own family? How long will it last? Does the research prove that this product is exceptional? Quality is not a Compromise.
Our Spa atmosphere is the best that a dental office can offer. If you like my approach, Let’s make an appointment to see if we’re a good fit to work together. Call me! ☎ 707-938-9066/ Email✉info@synergydentalgroup.net
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MUCH BETTER but it still feels a lot like it’s all about you. If you were reading this as a potential patient, would you feel like I was speaking TO YOU? About YOU? Or to you about ME, ME, ME? Insert this version as-is for now, and then come back to it in a week as if you were a stranger. Then you can take a look with fresh eyes.
You’re doing GREAT, though, @kimberly-hubenette, I promise! I just want the extra-special touch you promise your clients to start RIGHT HERE!!
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